Heyyyyy.
So well, today went for cip. Boring & hot only.
" i don't know where you're going or when you're coming home,
i left the keys under the mat to our front door for one more chance to hold you close "
lyrics from Ass Back Home.
everytime i hear that part, i'd always think of him.
why? scared dear's gna read this, but i keep wanting to express my feelings.
won't tell my friends cause i guess they wouldn't really care bout it,
thus a blog post again, hmmmm.
i'm just so tired of his bodyclock,
the fact that he lives so faraway, that we don't have much to talk.
sad that we only meet up once every few weeks, that we don't talk on the phone at all.
gna be 4 months soon but there's still nth much to say, so awkward.
and the part i hate most is having the damn insecure feeling.
yeah i'm open minded but doesn't mean i don't feel insecure.
cause ppl keep tellin' me don't trust him so much, don't love him so much,
cause he lives so faraway, it's so easy to twotime, and cause he dwna patch,
he may not really like me that much, keep saying that if a person loves you,
he would take the risk and chance of being hurt to be with you.
feels like shit yaknow? sometimes i just want to let go,
and i actually did, but it felt even shittier when i let go,
so soon aft i went back. i don't know.
can't be with or without him, very sad.
but one thing i'm sure of, is that i actually kinda really like him.
i had a dream once, it started off nice with a nice date w him.
then suddenly we quarreled cos of something,
then he told me, that was the last time we would meet.
i instantly woke up, and started crying like INSTANTLY.
aft a min i realised it was just a dream & calmed down,
yeah call me silly or whatever, but then on i realise how much he meant to me.
That's why the lyrics reminded me of him.
Cause it kinda reminds me of, if like after i kicked him out of the house,
i'd still put the key under the mat for him to come back :\
i just don't want to lose him.
but it's hard to keep him too.
you guys may ask me why i still call him dear aft we break.
and all i can say is, it's complicated, sorry.
And dear if you're really reading this.
you don't have to change anything for me, cause i already love the way you are.
i mean everything has flaws right, i'm strong :D ♥
during cip, my hair keep getting blown by the frigging wind.
then i was like, i want to get a cap.
cause it can prevent my hair from being messed up and not having to tie it :D
cause tying my hair gives it an ugly bump.
so school rules kinda fml.
and i find that girls who can pull off a cap got lotsa swag.
but i don't know if i can pull it off,
shall buy & see how it goes :D
I wanted the localthug hat Adam had at first, but it's like too man for me LOL.
then i went to search for other caps,
and instantly loved the one JB's wearing.
Red Obey Cap.
Cause i love Justin bieber & i love red hehe.
I shall find that hat when i get my pay! ♥
Don't buy it before me bitches hehehe.
Byebye :b
